The hard work of happiness

It can happen to all of us - sometimes you just feel sort of... down. It's like, no matter what you do, you are in that funk and then you're like, whoa, I am in a funk and I don't like this at all! The crazy thing is that... the more you think about about it, the lousier you feel.

Why does this happen? It's because people mostly think only about what they don't want instead of what they do want. And when we're all fired up and upset, we tend to really focus on what we really don't want to happen (''I really don't want to fail this exam,'' ''I hope my husband doesn't leave me,'' ''I hope my friend doesn't think I talk too much,'' etc.), just adding the extra stress. For example, if you're afraid that your friend will think that you talk too much, by worrying so much about it, you will really start to babble. I mean, who doesn't babble under stress? God knows, I do! And then of course you catch yourself - talking too much.

I think it all comes down to control issues.We like to control things. Who are we kidding? We LOVE to control things, we love it when things turn out exactly the way we want to. It's like nirvana. And by being so fixated on stuff we don't want to happen, we actually create it. I have a quote by David R. Hawkins on my wall, I really wanted to share it with you guys. It says: ''Worrying is a way of thinking that if you just keep persisting on it long enough, you will change the result and gain control of it. You don't. You just constantly entertain yourself with that silly thought. It's a way of trying to control the outcome by chewing it over and over again.''

The worst thing about being in a funk and not liking it (actually, you're more like hating it), is that the vicious cycle is then complete. And you spiral down, down, down.

The good thing is that you can change that and you're mood can go up, up, up:) Even if it's not in your nature. So, if you're feeling unhappy, you could:

1. Play a happy or a funny tune, I'd personally recommend Weird Al Yankovic's I'm fat or Cartman (Southpark) singing Lady Gaga's Poker face. It can be of course anything that makes you laugh:)
2. Try laughter yoga! You could organize weekly laughter yoga sessions with your friends! Just be careful - once you start laughing, it's really hard to stop:)
3. Read jokes. Read lots of jokes in your newspapers, magazines, internet. Memorize as many of them as you possibly can, so that next time when you're in a funk, you'll think about that joke and you'll feel better.
4. Call a friend that has a lot of positive energy and always seems to be cheerful. Don't have one? Maybe the time has come to make one;) Just hearing their cheerful voice will make you feel better:)
5. Watch stand up comedy clips, etc.

In a nutshell, the main point is that you do not dwell on your unhappy thoughts. By the way, I found this really cool website about happiness called the Happiness Institute led by Dr. Timothy Sharp aka ''Dr Happy''. I especially loved his blog. I wish there was such an Institute here in Slovenia!

Have a happy day!

Love,

Teja xoxox