It all started at a costume party on the previous Friday. I was dressed up as a gay man with slicked back hair, a moustache, a shirt with a floral print and a pink scarf; you know the whole stereotypical shebang (my friend Eva said that I pulled it off marvelously and that I looked a lot like Brüno, but let’s not get into that…). Now, the coolest thing about being a girl dressed as a gay man is that you can shamelessly flirt with every heterosexual man at a party without ending up with a broken jaw.
What is even more extraordinary is that I more men were buying me drinks and inviting me to dance with them than they would if I was ‘’just a girl.’’ Well, a womanJ. I found that a bit confusing, actually.
And that’s where I met the Argentinean. Well, actually he is a descendant of the Slovenes emigrants living in Argentina, so technically, he is Slovene but his mother tongue is Spanish, and his Slovene is wasn't all that good. But we liked each other, I guess. We flirted a bit. He pointed to his brother on his left and said that he is visiting him in Slovenia and that unfortunately he has to entertain him (that was my cue to leave and I did plan to do so). But he did ask for my phone number.
And I gave it to him.
And he didn’t call me.
Now, please bear with me. I have some plausible and not so plausible explanations regarding him not calling me. So, he didn’t call me because:
a) He actually thought that I was a gay man but then when he saw me leaving, he got a glimpse of my pear-shaped body and realized I was a woman
b) He also made a little trip to the deserts of Morocco, where he met Mr Douchebag who told him that Teja is bitching about men on the internet and that he shouldn’t mess with me
c) He got mugged on his way home that night and his cell phone was taken from him
d) He got abducted by an alien who has a secret crush on me and threatened the poor Argentinean that he will cut his balls off if he dares to call his crush (I personally find this highly plausible, if I may say so)
e) His asking for my phone number was actually a cunning plan to make me finally bugger off (totally impossible!)
Rockets and fireworks,